Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This is not my ceiling
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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