It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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