Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
handjob tips. give me some.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
