do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
