porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
