I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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