Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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