Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
