Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
