Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Randomize
