CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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