Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
