Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
