She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
