its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
