I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
