so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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