I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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