The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
