Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
