I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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