I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
