was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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