Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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