She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
