if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
