Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
