...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
