Kiss
Puke
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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