i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
