Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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