Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
