Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
