we're blogging at a bar
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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