at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
