How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
