he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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