If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
