when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
