you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
