Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
