If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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