I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
