ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
