we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
