new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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