But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
