Non-Jews are for practice
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
