you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she told me i tasted like america
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
