guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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