Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
