we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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